Wow, Janel -- what a richly evocative essay brimming with so much to savor that I read it twice, more slowly on the second pass.
It was abundantly clear since March (has it been only three months?) that you're an elegant, thoughtful writer, and now this shines as next-level. You share shiny trinkets that seem unconnected until we see the thread deftly woven from a 1999 series episode through memories of your dad, through the miracle of a surprise sister, through transatlantic travel, a timely mention of Tehran and a brave admission of ironing t-shirts (just sometimes, I get).
"What I wouldn't give today to make my dad a sandwich" hits hard . . . and ties the thread together masterfully. The seemingly mundane can also be exquisite because of connections -- yours with him and Sherri's too-short experience.
And as if all that weren't golden enough, we get your sun-splashed face and gems like "resting grin face" and "the running file of hope I keep for my boys." Brava again, JM.
I am reading this in a converted convent in Rome - while on holiday with family. My nine year old broke my heart yesterday as we set some ground rules and he responded with “why because he might be a terrorist?” While we pray for our family in the Middle East I hope he and his 12 yo cousin can enjoy this trip with awe, wonder and most importantly love and grace.
Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the time together even though we are talking about “enemies” more than before.
what a great piece! my sisters and i are all teens/early 20s and sometimes i have so much anxiety about our relationship will change as we start to live separate lives, but this soothed my soul in some way.
"She said that because they were born in this time, they will handle its complications—they were built for it."
I don't know. I think, like you perhaps, that being connected all the time is the problem and why maybe they aren't built for it. Having to be connected all the time also means not being able to slow down enough to think through problems. As a former educator, I saw it in our classrooms.
Why should we learn how to multiply when we all have a calculator in our pockets all the time?
Our collective attention span is so incredibly short and the current administration is weaponizing that against us. Humans were not meant to multitask and yet how many times do we watch tv and scroll through our phones? And to what end?
I hear you. But I think she meant more that the complications of the world-people have been born into complicated times w no choice and handle it---think its overly simplistic though!! But I agree with you and as an educator you know first hand.
Hoo boy, you’re a talented actress Janel, but in case of crisis, don’t be afraid to write. You write like a dream. This missive might be my favourite yet!
Yes, it's been a minute (hey, I can cancel my call in to the Brooklyn cops for a welfare check) but it was worth the wait. Lot of moving parts in this essay, lot of things to ponder; you really have to read this more than once. I am reminded that during my stay on this side of the grass that relationships are the most valuable possessions we humans have.
Thank you so much for this. Last night I had a spiriling moment when it hit me that a war is happening. My head went to the darkest places and like you, started to think about what I needed to preserve. It took me a while to stop panicking about the "things" and start panicking about having a plan to keep my pet safe and with me if things went really bad. It's funny how stopping for a moment and thinking about what's really important in a moment of an emergency can change our perspective. After a few hours reason began to kick in and I started to feel better, I appreciated my life a bit differently, and when life went on today with work and people keeping up with their lives and coping with this like they can, it felt a bit distant to me. But reading you was like a pat on the shoulder. It was my mindful moment of the day. A moment to know that strangers might be going through these feelings as well and while they might seem "ok" they do too have stuff they worry about and have had to make peace with what letting go might look like as well.
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I really enjoy writing these essays, exploring the relationship between our pasts and present. I am traveling this summer (Oi from São Paulo!!) but will put new writing up this week. Até breve!! xx
Wow, Janel -- what a richly evocative essay brimming with so much to savor that I read it twice, more slowly on the second pass.
It was abundantly clear since March (has it been only three months?) that you're an elegant, thoughtful writer, and now this shines as next-level. You share shiny trinkets that seem unconnected until we see the thread deftly woven from a 1999 series episode through memories of your dad, through the miracle of a surprise sister, through transatlantic travel, a timely mention of Tehran and a brave admission of ironing t-shirts (just sometimes, I get).
"What I wouldn't give today to make my dad a sandwich" hits hard . . . and ties the thread together masterfully. The seemingly mundane can also be exquisite because of connections -- yours with him and Sherri's too-short experience.
And as if all that weren't golden enough, we get your sun-splashed face and gems like "resting grin face" and "the running file of hope I keep for my boys." Brava again, JM.
This is lovely, and thoughtful. Thank you.
I am reading this in a converted convent in Rome - while on holiday with family. My nine year old broke my heart yesterday as we set some ground rules and he responded with “why because he might be a terrorist?” While we pray for our family in the Middle East I hope he and his 12 yo cousin can enjoy this trip with awe, wonder and most importantly love and grace.
Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the time together even though we are talking about “enemies” more than before.
what a great piece! my sisters and i are all teens/early 20s and sometimes i have so much anxiety about our relationship will change as we start to live separate lives, but this soothed my soul in some way.
"She said that because they were born in this time, they will handle its complications—they were built for it."
I don't know. I think, like you perhaps, that being connected all the time is the problem and why maybe they aren't built for it. Having to be connected all the time also means not being able to slow down enough to think through problems. As a former educator, I saw it in our classrooms.
Why should we learn how to multiply when we all have a calculator in our pockets all the time?
Our collective attention span is so incredibly short and the current administration is weaponizing that against us. Humans were not meant to multitask and yet how many times do we watch tv and scroll through our phones? And to what end?
It's frightening.
I hear you. But I think she meant more that the complications of the world-people have been born into complicated times w no choice and handle it---think its overly simplistic though!! But I agree with you and as an educator you know first hand.
I see what you're saying. And I agree with you - it's overly simplistic.
Gold. I hope these poignant essays eventually find their way into a collected volume of some kind.
I’ve missed you!
I love your writing just as much as I love The West Wing. This one made me cry. ❤️
Hoo boy, you’re a talented actress Janel, but in case of crisis, don’t be afraid to write. You write like a dream. This missive might be my favourite yet!
Yes, it's been a minute (hey, I can cancel my call in to the Brooklyn cops for a welfare check) but it was worth the wait. Lot of moving parts in this essay, lot of things to ponder; you really have to read this more than once. I am reminded that during my stay on this side of the grass that relationships are the most valuable possessions we humans have.
Thank you so much for this. Last night I had a spiriling moment when it hit me that a war is happening. My head went to the darkest places and like you, started to think about what I needed to preserve. It took me a while to stop panicking about the "things" and start panicking about having a plan to keep my pet safe and with me if things went really bad. It's funny how stopping for a moment and thinking about what's really important in a moment of an emergency can change our perspective. After a few hours reason began to kick in and I started to feel better, I appreciated my life a bit differently, and when life went on today with work and people keeping up with their lives and coping with this like they can, it felt a bit distant to me. But reading you was like a pat on the shoulder. It was my mindful moment of the day. A moment to know that strangers might be going through these feelings as well and while they might seem "ok" they do too have stuff they worry about and have had to make peace with what letting go might look like as well.
This was wonderful writing, and made m really stop to think and pause my reading, which is such a rarity when I’m reading on here. Thank you.
I love reading your posts. This one was particularly moving, but I’ve enjoyed all of them. Thanks for sharing.
You are a brilliant writer. Another wonderful essay, such a joy to read.
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I really enjoy writing these essays, exploring the relationship between our pasts and present. I am traveling this summer (Oi from São Paulo!!) but will put new writing up this week. Até breve!! xx
Fantastic!